Isn’t respect one of our core beliefs for a peaceful and productive society?
Our neighbor is taking on the task of a number of renovation/upgrade projects and, as my experience in such things is greater than theirs, they have chatted with me about various ideas and how to execute them.
I have always preferred the “hands on” learning approach, and so either start a particular task for them and explain the “whys and wherefores” and then let them continue or, in some cases, it is simply quicker and easier for me to just do the complete job (such as hanging a garden gate).
They appreciate the assistance, and I enjoy doing that kind of stuff, so it is a win-win situation with the bonus being a Tim Horton’s coffee and a Boston Cream donut sometimes appearing as a token of appreciation. You can’t beat that!
Reflecting back over the years, there have been occasions when similar gestures were met with negative criticism by the recipients of my donated time. Typically, the work was not done exactly how they expected it. It was not necessarily done incorrectly, but simply that a detail in the recipients vision was omitted.
I have issues with these circumstances because if a person has the ability to do a job, and yet accepts an offer from somebody else to do it as a gesture of friendship, good neighbor, or whatever and at no labor cost, then that person should respect those facts and show appreciation for what was done. Alternatively, they could have simply declined the offer and done it themselves or hired a contractor and paid appropriately. This, to me, is nothing more complicated than basic respect and this unfortunate trait of some individuals has dictated that there are people that I will not help out, simply because the end result will never be right.
I have spent a lot of time trying to understand the mindset that dictates accepting a volunteer offer and (without explaining the finer points of their expectations in advance) then feel they have the right to criticize.
Part of my thinking is that they have every right to be satisfied with the work done.
Part of my thinking is that if a person volunteers to do a specific job , and unless details are specified in advance, then the volunteer should do the job in whatever manner their expertise dictates. The fact that they are “donating” a few hours out of their life, as a simple gesture of assistance surely deserves respect?
Part of the problem is often a lack of vision, or simply an inability to visualize the end result, but this should not give a reason to criticize the final product. Under these circumstances, the problem is with the recipient of the work, and not with the worker!
Respect should be a basic building block of any culture if it is to live in peace. I guess that just helps to explain our current worldly issues.