Conversations!

I just love a good family conversation. It doesn’t have to be particularly complex, although they can be fun, but they do have to include at least both parties contributing in a constructive manner. A one way dialogue simply indicates that this is clearly not a good time for a conversation!

It is always fun to visit Melanie (daughter) because we get lots of opportunities to chat. We talk about things in the past that perhaps should have been talked about more back then. We talk about our respective shortcomings over the years, and how bridges have since been crossed.

Many years ago she was clearly enjoying our chats, but was uncertain about whether her choice of topics would be my choice! Typically, she would start off with “Can I ask you a question?” My response has been consistent with her, Alex her daughter, and many other people. “You can ask whatever question you like. I will either answer it, or explain to you why I cannot.”

We must have discussed pretty much every aspect of our respective lives since that time.

Chatting with Simon (son) is quite different because, not only is he a totally different personality to Melanie, but his life experiences are vastly different. Talking with him has not reached the level of openness that Melanie and I have, but we are making progress.  I look forward to seeing him later this year when we can takeover a pool table once again and, while he is beating me decisively, we can be sharing life’s challenges; our responses, and our successes.

Then there is Alex! Alex (Alexandra – Melanie’s daughter) is a different personality completely, although definitely her Mom’s daughter! She is very receptive to conversations and, given her life experiences which are considerable considering her age, her topic range is also very broad.

She is 22 now! How time flies…. but in 2005, she was visiting and we walked down to the lake. What a wonderful opportunity to have a conversation!

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I would love to recall what we were talking about, but unfortunately I cannot! The important thing, as evidenced by the photo, is that we were clearly enjoying a chat!

What could possibly be better than chatting face to face with somebody who is important to you, and in a congenial location.  Life can be good, regardless of the challenges that it often presents.

36 thoughts on “Conversations!”

    • It’s much like working with Ray!!! Be very patient; Be understanding of different perspectives; Know when to push, and when to step back; Acknowledge that communication is a 2-way street; Be prepared to address sensitive issues; Be diplomatic and respectful. The rewards are, of course, priceless!

      Good luck Suad. and I hope that your Dad can see the same values from an open relationship as you clearly do. 🙂

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        • You’re very welcome. It all seemed to work for me! The biggest hurdle was for me to accept Melanie as an equal, and for her to accept me the same. Once those barriers are down, endless beautiful conversations can be had. 🙂

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            • From my perspective, you and your father are both adults. The father/daughter relationship should transition to best friend/best friend. Melanie reached a point when she did not necessarily want fatherly advice, but rather suggestions from a close friend. It was my desire to fill that role as I would rather she received suggestions to issues from me, than from some of her peers! 🙂

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              • Aww this is beautiful. I’ll take Melanie’s approach and see how that goes but I have a great feeling there’d be a lot of progress as I’m sure he’d rather I received suggestions from him. Thank you 😊

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  5. Awwww, what a beautiful picture, happy moments captured!! Your relationship with Melanie reminds me of that with my mum. At first, we weren’t exactly BFFs but, like you said, no topic is out of range 😄

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  7. I hear you, Colin! My daughter is only one year younger and It is wonderful what talks we can have. She is talking to me about everything. It seems to me that she is fully open which is what I always hoped for when she was little. I am so happy that this worked out!

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  8. A great post and so true,nothing beats face to face conversation!I It’s great when you can be so open to talking about anything. Strengthens the bond. Love the picture! Yes, 1 way conversations are generally not good; but there are the times when the one party is laughing too hard to respond or made speechless by the other party. Yes, I am thinking about the conversation with your dear daughter last night! 🙂

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  9. I could talk to my Dad about anything, and still miss him terribly. I also used to have some great debates with my father-in-law, who would deliberately take the opposite side sometimes to ‘make life interesting’ (and wind my mother in law up!). I miss him too. Sadly, face to face conversation seems to be a dying art thanks to computers, TV, social media etc. I’m glad you have such a wonderful relationship with Melanie.

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  11. What a lovely post Colin..i have been awol a lot here and having most of my concersations with the vet!
    I have very different chats with our adult kids..they are all so different yet the same 🙂 but the most memorable have been chats they have had with each other that i have listened too..the moments from childhood up until now..from ‘twin talk’ between my twin boys as toddlers where only they could understand what the other said…to listening to one twin son talk to his twin brother while standing side by side awaiting ones soon to be bride walk the aisle…lovely post..made me remember lovely chats 🙂 thankyou!

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