Male arrogance!

This is a rather emotional Post for me. It recounts an incident that happened yesterday, and emotions still run high when I think about it!

Sometimes I feel rather embarrassed to be an obvious member of the male sex. Since Ray moved in with us, there have been many occasions when we have met an “all dogs love me” male. Never a female… always a male!

Many of you know that Ray’s background is unknown however, he initially resented (perhaps feared) human contact unless he knew the individual really well. When approached by somebody he did not know, he had a very effective lunge and bark routine to make the person go away. It was very effective!

Over the past four years, and with much professional help, Ray changed so much. He is now a bit of a social butterfly, but the “lunge and bark” routine still surfaces occasionally and is usually because of an insensitive or careless approach by somebody.

We never allow anybody to hug him, and we deter strangers from greeting him “face to face”. It’s not that he would necessarily object, but we do not feel that we have the right to gamble with somebody else’s health and well being. Also of course, we see no reason to subject Ray to an unnecessarily stressful situation.

Over the past four years, we have also got to know Ray well enough to recognize some pre “lunge and bark” signals, so we can diffuse delicate moments.

On our walk yesterday, we met an “all dogs love me” male! He totally swept away our suggestions that he did not get too familiar with Ray. We explained our concerns, and Ray’s history, and he decided to preach to us about dog characteristics and how one deals with them. We know this individual and would question his validation in anything relating to canines!

He did hold back for a few minutes, but then tried to coax Ray closer to him. Ray responded appropriately and moved closer and, as the man bent down to touch him, we saw Ray tense up and we immediately distracted him (Ray). I thought we made it quite clear that we were not happy with his approach, but I guess not. He than lay down on the grass and, again, was trying to get Ray to go to him. Ray was looking down at him and suddenly went tense and fixated the man with his eyes. Again we immediately distracted Ray.

What happened next was what triggered this Post. The man, who seemed to believe that he knew everything there was to know about dogs, told us not to distract Ray. He was very confident that he could handle him and, if necessary, would simply grab him by the throat! He was explaining that with “I hope you don’t mind”!!!!

I explained that I really did mind and, if he ever tried that with Ray, he could well lose a hand! The man was then distracted and we continued on our walk…  but I was so amazed at the display of stupidity, thoughtlessness… and arrogance of this man.

He was stupid because Ray’s (any dog’s) reactions are so much faster than ours that, unless he was remarkably lucky, I would suggest a severe dog bite would have been the outcome.

He was thoughtless because having explained to him the programs and training over four years that has resulted in Ray trusting people, he could consider grabbing Ray’s throat and potentially putting Ray’s development back a few years!

He was arrogant because… well… all of the above!

66 thoughts on “Male arrogance!”

  1. I don’t have a dog (or any other pets) because of allergies, but I love animals. I’ve met people like this person before… they will not be told, will they? They get an idea that they can do no wrong and then go and prove to themselves and everyone else that they most certainly can! I’m sorry you had to experience this sort of stupidity.

    Liked by 1 person

  3. Honestly people! You know Ray and for someone to disregard what you are trying to tell them is frustrating enough, but to say he’ll just grab his throat! Grrrrr!!!! And then if he would have gotten bitten, poor Ray would have taken the blame most likely. It’s an unfair world to our animal friends.

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  4. I’m with you. Arrogance has no place with animals. We have a huge granddog that is much the same and people constantly come up to him on walks and refuse to hear our daughter’s warnings especially where kids are involved.

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  5. Egad, what a cretin! I think you handled the situation far more diplomatically than I might have and am quite sure I’d have left the area mumbling “Filter, Monika…Filter!” from the top of my lungs. Extra scratches to Ray for being such a good boy.

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  12. Next time, I guess you could point toward the back of his house and say, “Is someone trying to break in your house?” then keep walking. That ought to distract him, he, he.

    Liked by 3 people

  13. What a plonker.
    I’m a ‘all dogs (usually) love me’ kinda gal, but I respect not only the dog, but also the owner and any warnings given. I always ask before I say Hi to the dog, and confess that once it’s met me, I usually get a tail wag and fuss should we meet up again.

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      • Exactly. My GSD was wary of strangers, but curiosity always got the better of her. My Dad sensed it, and he was brilliant with all animals, and on his first meeting sat on the settee and ignored her. After about half an hour, he dropped his arm casually down by the side, and within an hour of that, she was under his stroking hand, perfectly content. He had so much patience with animals, and always let them come to him. I’ve never forgotten that.

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  16. I’ve only ever owned fish and a hamster so I don’t have your experience. Even so, I know that you just don’t push something like that. Some people just don’t have to capacity or desire to look at the bigger picture things. I’m glad you were able to keep things in check and I’m glad to hear your journey with Ray is going well. Keep up the good work!

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  20. You know, someone who communicates ‘the all animals love me,’ routine are complete nutters! They should be given a wide berth because they force themselves onto unknown animals in a direct and out-of-control manner.
    I am pretty good with all animals and I do manage to communicate, but all animals are not the same. Personality can make a big difference. I have often warned my husband when he can and cannot put his hand down to a dog that comes up to him. I am very careful. I was only bitten once a number of years ago. It was, I later learned, a dangerous dog owned by an acquaintance. It was a black husky, wolf mix with bright yellow eyes. It jumped at up me (aggressive dominating behaviour) and actually stood taller than my slight 5′ 4″ frame. When my friend left the room, I made the mistake of trying to make friends with the dog. With no growl, or bark, or any pre-warning, it snapped at my hand and clamped its teeth down on my thumb refusing to let go. I felt intense pain but remained calm, gently calling my friend back and saying that her dog had bitten me in as calm a voice as I could muster. The dog clamped further down to my bone…I pulled very gently (probably making the wound worse) as my acquaintance was not coming to the rescue. I said soothing things to the dog, but it kept its mouth shut as I pulled my hand free. Blood poured over the floor…and my ‘friend,’ now seeing the situation ran for tea towels to wrap around my hand. Then she proceeded (to my horror) to beat the living daylights out of this beast and dragged him off to the chain linked yard with Beware of the Dog signs all over it.

    My hand healed without intervention (luckily), although her tea towels were beyond restitution. My friend pleaded with me not to report the incident as it was a third attack that the dog had made and the courts had already indicated that it would be destroyed after the last attack. Little wonder given its nature and the way it was treated by these supposed guardians. I did not get stitches because the hospital would report the attack.

    In hindsight to that whole thing. I knew as soon as I met the dog, that it was not friendly. I knew that I was stupid to attempt friendship. And I didn’t want to be its final Chance!
    I never went to the girl’s house again, nor did I want anything to do with someone who could beat an animal so badly. And in truth, I don’t know what became of the dog. But I do know now, that being friendly to an unfriendly animal is a very bad idea.

    Ray was fortunate that you intervened at the stupidity of this individual. Most attacks occur when you are invading an animal’s personal space. Just like us, they don’t want you in their face unless they know you really well.

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  22. I’m surprised that YOU didn’t bite that arrogant male!! I can not imagine why anyone would deliberately put themselves in harm’s way, much less plan to handle it by grabbing a dog by their throat! The possible outcomes of this encounter are horrifying. He most likely would have sued if he received a justified bite by poor Ray. I have (what I prefer to call) a healthy fear of dogs I do not know and respect for those I do. Thankfully, Ray and you survived this encounter intact!

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  24. “I will just grab his throat!” Oh my gosh! I can see why you would feel anger!
    Sometimes there are just no words for others stupidity!

    So very glad that he did not do that! As you said it could have very likely resulted in Ray biting him, which though well deserved, would have been bad! Yes, it could have set Ray back after how far he has come and I wouldn’t be surprised at all if the guy wouldn’t have tried to sue you!

    “All dogs love me”….sorry man, by the thougjtless actions that you showed, I don’t think so!! Dogs are smarter than that!

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  25. There is a part of me that would have liked him to get a good bite. Then again, it would set Ray back and caused him to distrust again. I always defer to owners. Who knows a dog better than the owner? I had a friend with an unfriendly cat. I asked if I could just talk for a bit. The cat eventually came around to me (surprising the owner) but I would never have moved into it’s space. Had the cat not come around I would have let it be. Sure hope you don’t bump into him again.

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  26. I know exactly what you mean, when I walk Darcy people approach (with their children!!) because hes a dachshund and they are a comical breed. I have to be quite rude, which isn’t like me. to stop them from stroking him. People think small and cute equals harmless….nope! and everyone is a dog whisperer and can transform him instantly! I honestly need a placard with “Stay Away” in large print! I know how frustrating this is…..btw it’s not Darcy’s fault he’s unpredictable, he’s a rescue too.

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    • Your last sentence says it all really. Dogs, like people, are the result of their raising plus life experiences. How anybody can assume that they all behave the same has obviously never paid attention to children!

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    • Bless the ones who rescue dogs and protect them from ignorant as well as the well meaning fools.
      (Molly is our Malamute/Husky who was raised in a brutal environment (an area known for dog fighting breeders – the rescue groups and animal control patrols ready to scoop up any dog that’s managed to escape), chewed metal to free herself – but her wire harness around her remained and became inflected. She feared the rescue group trying to capture her, but finally trusted an older couple who took her inside their house until others could. We are her 4th home – she is far too smart for her own good and looks like a giant plush toy so of course everyone wants to pet her on walks. She was pretty social and tolerant until 2 pit bulls got loose and attacked her and my husband on a neighborhood walk. Now she’s back to square one and wary…unless you have a dog – then she thinks the person attached is probably OK…probably…we watch for signs and are quick to intervene if necessary
      We are her guardian as much as she thinks she is ours.

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  27. It’s unfortunate that you had to deal with such stupidity. Ray is not a chihuahua, for goodness sake!! Look at it this way, although the mans arrogance could have proven to be dangerous, your command over Ray proved otherwise. Next time tell him to have a nice day and just keep walking. 😊

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