Some people really like surprises, and some people don’t. I tend to lean towards the not liking surprises end of the scale, which is probably due to me wanting to be “on top of things” all the time. I don’t see myself as a “control freak”, but some people could be excused for thinking that of me.
This Post subconsciously started a few days ago when my son emailed me to let me know that he may have a daughter from a relationship of long ago. She had been raised by relatives of her Mum, in a legal guardianship arrangement (so not adopted), and was just recently told who her Dad was!
The other day, the surprise developed further as I received an email from a 19 year old young lady who, after introducing herself to me, explained that she was my granddaughter, and how would I like her to address me!
I immediately spent some time on the internet and found her FB page and started accumulating snippets of information about her and posing various questions to my son. I was curious to know why, after 19 years, this was being announced. I was curious to know why she had been in a legal guardianship situation rather than being adopted. I was curious to know where her biological mother fitted into the overall picture. I was curious about so many aspects of this situation, but they have all still to be explained to me! I must conclude that the relationship which produced this young lady was somewhat less than long-term.
This is a really interesting situation because there are a number of possibilities, some of which are manipulative and devious, but I am going to believe that she is simply a young lady who has reached an age whereby she can legally ask for details of her background, and now wishes to connect with her family.
Assuming the above, and I really hope that she does not prove me wrong, then the next step will be to meet with her and get some lines of communication going! As I am her only “new relative” in Ontario, It seems that I have been delegated the task of introducing this young lady to her Dad’s family… and generally answer all her questions as best I can.
Wouldn’t you just love to get an email like that! “Hi Grandpa ……. guess who I am?
There will be more news as the story develops!
THIS IS EXCITING 😀
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With a certain amount of trepidation mixed in… yes it was exciting! 🙂
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That’s a REAL surprise. I can’t wait to see how this plays out. I add my hope that there is nothing dark or devious about this revelation. Barring that – this can be FUN!
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Yes it can be……. but will it be??? Time will most certainly tell!
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Wow – that is quite a surprise! I like that you are keeping an open mind. Rejection is painful. All the best to you and your new granddaughter!
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Thank you. I am trying to set up a meeting right at this moment! 🙂
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Mom doesn’t like surprises either, and since she has two boys who are grown, hopes she never gets this particular surprise. Although she knows a couple that this happened to, except the child was much younger and they are thrilled. Best luck to you all.
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Hi Lexi – I really don’t understand too much of what is going on! Woof! Ray.
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Sometimes it is for the best, Ray.
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Yes I guess so. When I am as old as you, perhaps I shall be as wise as you Lexi. Woof! Ray.
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Oh my, what a surprise indeed. Of course, there is a possibility that this is a false game. But I go with you in being open for it. It is a wonderful thought. How excting!
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Hi Erika. My position is quite simple. I can either assume a devious hidden agenda and reject her, but that could be devastating to her of she is literally trying to “join up the dots” in her history…. or I can assume that she is legitimately interested in connecting, and risk being presented with some less than desirable circumstances. To me, it is a “no contest” decision. I would not want to risk devastating somebody who is simply trying to connect with her relatives.
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I was thinking about that situation and I think the same way about it. Why not pretending that it is that way. You would notice for sure and you are not “blue-eyed” at all. So what? I am excited for you, Colin 😊
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Thanks Erika. One guarantee I have is that it will all become clear as time passes. I already have one wonderful granddaughter, but I can handle two! 🙂
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Wow! What an interesting situation. I won’t blame you for being a little apprehensive and I really hope this turns out well for your family. Our children never cease to surprise us!
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Hi Hester. Re your last sentence ….. if you only knew re my two!!!!
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Holy cow! I love surprises, but this is the sort of surprise that is so huge I can’t even wrap my thoughts around it. Good luck with all of this!
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Thanks Sarah. Staying positive is certainly the key! 🙂
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Interesting scenario. I hope it is indeed a pleasant surprise of a young woman wanting to know her roots.
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Initial thoughts are very positive. She is apparently starting Univ in September doing a Psych program. That puts her way ahead of her Dad already!
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Just when you think the summer is slowing everything up, something new happens that will provide fodder for posts galore! Sure hope she likes dogs.
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Let’s hope! Let’s also hope that Ray likes her!
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Wow! What a surprise! I hope she ends up being a blessing to your family and her to yours!
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You and me both! 🙂
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Does that mean she resides in Ontario too? I do hope everything happens for the best and this is as you said, a young adult ready to find out and connect with her family.
I hope you find all the answers to the questions you asked.
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Hi Ameena – Yes….. she lives about a one hour drive away!
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As shocking as this was for you to find out, I have no doubt that you will handle everything in the smooth, wise way you have about you. My mind would still be spinning with so many unanswered questions, that I don’t know if I could even form a post like you did.
I do hope that her intentions are in truly wanting to get to know family and not devious in any way. She does have some wonderful relatives to get acquainted with.
Life is definitely full of surprises, eh! 🙂
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Life certainly is full of surprises, as you well know! 🙂
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oh, my. exciting yet scary at the same time! Woof!
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Not quite sure what adjectives I would use at the moment. Perplexed? Concerned? Sympathetic? Compassionate?
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Yes. Lots of emotions and stuff must be rattling in your head right now. Take it slow is my only advice.
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.. and good advice it is! Thanks Chris. 🙂
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