By Faith

About a week ago, I had a call from my daughter. She had come across something she had written many years earlier (in 1999) and wanted to read it to me. She has written some interesting, perceptive, and thought provoking pieces over the years, so I said yes, please read it to me. When she had finished, there was nothing said, until … “Melanie, would you mind sending me a copy of that?”

With Melanie’s permission …

By Faith

The emptiness is all too familiar, so many times I have been here before

in a room full of many, yet there are few.

Embrace the Lord, Embrace His love.

He will light the darkness, this familiar ground, He shall disperse

Embrace Him I do, – Do I feel free?

The loneliness surrounds me, – the darkness moves in

Where is my Father? His presence I cannot feel.

** ***** **

I go by Faith – for it is all I have

I go by Grace – for that He has given

I stumble through each day, looking for His direction

I open His book – for His words I pray bring hope

I feel, I fear – I am a hypocrite

I am a Christian – by faith, – For that I thank Him, my Father

I do not live a Christian life, I do live a life of fear, loneliness, emptiness, sin, darkness, deceit, misguidance -, a life of worldly things, a life of abuse, addiction, obsession, weakness, hopelessness, poverty, inability & despair.

** ***** **

A life that at times isn’t worth living,

But for the Grace of God

Life – there must be more than this.

Father so many times I cry out – Father I need what you have

No life should be like this, – one of despair & loneliness

Clinging to a strand of hope – praying for that lost soul

Having Faith in our Father

Surely death is easier – surely life is harder

Surely my Faith keeps me sane – In this insane world

The light at the end.

** ***** **

So many times I long to see … for today I am blind

So many times I long to speak … for today I am mute

So many times I long to hear … for today I am deaf

So many times I long to feel … for today I do not

But for His love, that being unconditional.

Comprehend? I cannot

Try? I do – I cannot

Go by Faith – Do I really?

At times my Faith, like a rock is solid

Go by Faith

At times like the sand, is swept away.

** ***** **

A cry in the darkness – Father that is my voice

My pathetic voice among many

Unconditional

I cannot understand – though I try

I am worthless – that is what “he” wants me to believe

I am loved – that is what “You” tell me

Without the Spirit – I am empty

But why me? – A hypocrite .

** ***** **

A woman so lost in the darkness – I need to see

I need to speak – I need to hear – I need to feel

By Faith

I get up each morning – by Faith

You take me thru each day – by Faith – I believe

For believing in You is all I have

The walls close in as the sun goes down – darkness surrounds me

It engulfs – feeds on my fears – my inhibitions – my weaknesses

You pull me with your strength.

** ***** **

By Faith …

By Faith I pray

By Faith I hope

By Faith I dream

I live by Faith

** ***** **

Let no man enter the darkness

It is a place of screams

A place of fears

A place of loneliness

A place of abuse

A place of pain

** ***** **

Let all men walk in the light

A place of peace

A place of love

A place of heaven

A place of eternity

** ***** **

The middle ground

A battlefield in darkness

A battle once won

A battle for souls

My soul

I belong to One

My Father – By Faith

 

(April 26, 1999 – Melanie-Anne Chappell)

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37 thoughts on “By Faith

  1. Your daughter is a true poet, and I know she “gets it” from her father. I have had a strong faith from the age of 7 when I became a Christian, and even through college-age “doubts” and cancer at the age of 55, it is stronger than it ever was. I have placed your daughter at the head of my (paper) prayer list which I go over each day. At the age of 73, I feel I have a “direct line” and will request intervention in her health condition and a strong security in her faith for her. I’d better add you, too, Colin, for you need to be strong for her, regardless of whatever comes.

    Liked by 2 people

  2. How very brave and generous of Melanie to permit you to share her innermost thoughts and feelings. Her words take me back to a time many years ago in my life, when my faith was shaken to its core and I felt lost and hopeless. A dear friend said to me : “Ellen, Faith isn’t Faith until it is all your holding on to.” I desperately hung onto my tattered bits of faith and it worked. Thank-you and Melanie too!

    Liked by 4 people

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