Where there are still some cultures that consider women inconsequential and insignificant (odd perspective given how critical they are for the survival of the human race), perhaps I was just lucky? I got a good one in my daughter. One that was consequential and significant!
She put us through a lot of serious challenges during her teens, but we all survived and are more the wiser for it. The biggest problem with dealing with teens is the belief that they actually care what you are saying to them. It was a revelation, with Melanie, when I realized that us parents are perceived to have no idea about the world and cannot therefore be taken seriously. Given that there are many teens that are prepared to share their vast resources and knowledge about life, there is no absolutely no purpose to be served by listening to parents.
This changes with the years and, with some self control on my part and some cooperation on Melanie’s part, I saw my role changing from parent to friend. She no longer had a strong need for an advising; monitoring; making sure everything was good parent, but she did have a need for mature friends.
The above pic was taken in 2012 during a visit to Vancouver. That was always Melanie’s relaxed stance. If she was standing for a period of time doing something, invariably this was the position that she would adopt! Her daughter is well aware of this and also takes up the same position. Put us all together and you have to wonder…
I have only scratched the surface of Melanie but inconsequential and insignificant? Not in my world!