Where there are still some cultures that consider women inconsequential and insignificant (odd perspective given how critical they are for the survival of the human race), perhaps I was just lucky? I got a good one in my daughter. One that was consequential and significant!
She put us through a lot of serious challenges during her teens, but we all survived and are more the wiser for it. The biggest problem with dealing with teens is the belief that they actually care what you are saying to them. It was a revelation, with Melanie, when I realized that us parents are perceived to have no idea about the world and cannot therefore be taken seriously. Given that there are many teens that are prepared to share their vast resources and knowledge about life, there is no absolutely no purpose to be served by listening to parents.
This changes with the years and, with some self control on my part and some cooperation on Melanie’s part, I saw my role changing from parent to friend. She no longer had a strong need for an advising; monitoring; making sure everything was good parent, but she did have a need for mature friends.
The above pic was taken in 2012 during a visit to Vancouver. That was always Melanie’s relaxed stance. If she was standing for a period of time doing something, invariably this was the position that she would adopt! Her daughter is well aware of this and also takes up the same position. Put us all together and you have to wonder…
I have only scratched the surface of Melanie but inconsequential and insignificant? Not in my world!
A New Direction Perhaps? 
You have described the transition beautifully! She looks like she is brimming with life! 🙂
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Melanie has been through a lot of difficult and traumatic experiences, and has been (still is) coping with a life threatening medical condition. Yes, she is brimming with life. She gives of her time freely to help others, and is active in both her church and in volunteer programs that target less-fortunate women. She could have chosen to give up many years ago but, instead, she decided to celebrate life. I am very proud of her. 🙂
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She sounds amazing:) Yet, she also had amazing parents;) Really great and fun picture! Must be so adorable to see her daughter do the stance, too.
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Hi Nena – They are a fun pair, and both have dealt with very difficult situations (and still are dealing with them) yet they are happier than many people without those issues. 🙂
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Very strong women:)
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They are, and they are both very giving of themselves. Neither of them has a high standard of living, but they are both very appreciative of what they do have. I am very proud of both of them! 🙂
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I’m sure they are beyond happy to have a father/grandfather that values and supports them:)
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🙂
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Nice!
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She is beautiful! I experience the same change from a teenager’s mom to an adult woman’s friend. It is amazing how we all grow on each other!
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It truly is amazing. 🙂
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As a woman and the mother of an amazingly wonderful daughter, I thank you for this awesome message.
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You’re welcome Hester. You obviously understand! 🙂
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Your daughter looks like a delightful young woman. And she’s pretty too. You are fortunate to have each other. Sometimes it takes years to become a friend to one’s child as you have written. In my case it’s been a couple of decades. It’s a difficult shift to make.
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Hi Yvonne. I guess role changing is never easy, but I feel sorry for those parents who can’t (or won’t) make that change. They miss out on so much. 🙂
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So is Melanie a dancer or a stork?
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The closest she got to either of those was a gymnast. You will note that her foot is much higher up her leg than mine…. something to do with flexibility! 🙂
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Yes, well, Mom says that will also change with time! I used to almost fly onto the bed, and now I use the stairs my brother so thoughtfully built for me out of an old desk.
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So when I saw the title of this I had to smile! Great picture of you 2 and I know that if I struck a pose like that I would not be able to stand long without leaning on something! Being my great sense of balance and coordination skills 🙂 What you say about daughters and teens is so true. I may be weary right now, but I never will stop being thankful for them! Thanks for the reminder!
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Thx JR. I have an envious record of being “challenged” in all areas of agility. You may not have noticed that Melanie is keeping me vertical in that pic. Who says that daughters cannot support their fathers? 🙂
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LOL! Yes I did notice her keeping you vertical. Was gonna ask if you could stand that way on your own, guess i know the answer now 🙂
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Yes… you now know the answer! 🙂
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Lovely photo of you both Colin.
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Thx Di. She is very special! 🙂
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She thinks the same of her Dad (she commented as such on one of my posts).
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Did I see that one? Any chance of a link?
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I’m pretty sure you did. I’ll try and find it as it’s quite an old one.
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found it
https://pensitivity101.wordpress.com/2013/11/14/daddys-little-girl/
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Thx Di. I did remember it after I had seen it again. That was quite the emotional Post in so many ways:)
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It’ll be 20 years ago on the 13th that Dad left us. I still miss him, and think of him every day. Hubby and I are certain the two Dads have got together and are having a chuckle at us these days!
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I can never understand how some cultures disrespect women or treat them as they would a barnyard chicken. I am lucky I was born into a country/culture that is not like that. Your daughter is beautiful. That is a great picture.
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Thx Kate and, yes, it is baffling. Why would anybody want to treat women as “3rd rate citizens” when they are the only means of perpetuating our species? It defies any logic that I can come up with.
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