The Laws of Holes

The internet, and specifically blogging, allows us to express ourselves to the full extent of our comfort level with the public nature of this medium. It is therefore not uncommon to witness somebody digging themselves a hole, and The Laws of Holes will inevitably come up in subsequent comments.

My introduction to the Laws of Holes (more correctly called The Law of Holes because there was only one) was many years ago. I cannot recall the circumstances so will rest in the knowledge that it must have been a very small hole. However, that original Law of Holes was quite succinct:

The First Law of Holes – If you find yourself in a hole, stop digging.

Many Laws of Holes have surfaced since then, and a quick sortee around the internet produced the following (which have been numbered simply for convenience so do not represent any formally acknowledged order).

The Second Law of Holes – Recognize that when you stop digging, you are still in the hole.

The Third Law of Holes – If you find yourself in a hole, don’t make a sound. Perhaps nobody will notice.

The Fourth Law of Holes – If you find yourself in one, get out as fast as possible and fill it in (hide the evidence).

The Fifth Law of Holes – If you find yourself in one, get out as fast as possible and leave the area. Failure to do so may precipitate falling back into it.

The Sixth Law of Holes – If you are not sure whether you are in a hole, ask somebody who is not covered with mud.

The Seventh Law of Holes – If somebody you like seems to be digging a hole, do not offer to help them.

The Eighth Law of Holes – If you see somebody you like in a hole, do not jump in to keep them company.

The Ninth Law of Holes (Political) – When you find yourself in a hole … deny it.

The Tenth Law of Holes (Political) – If the Ninth Law is challenged, keep digging as if you had a plan.

It is interesting that, regardless of the humour, each Law can be interpreted in a manner that applies to our lives in general. Watch out for holes!

43 thoughts on “The Laws of Holes

  1. This is great. I had only ever known the first law. Now I have the bases covered. I wonder if there are more holes out there that we don’t know about, or figured out yet, but as holes go, if there is one it will soon be found.

    Liked by 1 person

  2. Reminds me of something a course leader told us:
    There was a hole in the middle of the pavement and one by one, the pedestrians fell in.
    All bar one, who walked round it.
    Moral: don’t follow the crowd, think for yourself.

    Liked by 1 person

  3. Looks like you’ve done your research. These are very good laws. Excellent laws. I love these beautiful laws. If I praise the Laws of Holes enough, will that shield me from ever falling into a hole?

    Liked by 1 person

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