Aspiration … or Inspiration?

(This is a copy of a much earlier posting, but it is still relevant today.)

“Treat others as I would like them to treat me.”

It’s a wonderful basis for living, and I adopted it many years ago. Of course, how effective I have been is open to debate, but I like to think that my “compliance percentage” is quite high. The problem though is that it is often misunderstood. I know that because, when I broach the concept with some people, they respond with “Aren’t you disappointed though when they don’t behave accordingly, or when you go out of your way to help somebody, but they never reciprocate … don’t you wonder why you bothered?”

It is so important to understand that the quote was not “Treat others as I would expect them to treat me”, but rather “as I would like them to treat me.” Understanding the significant difference is important if one intends adopting that concept. An “expectation” that is not achieved can be really disappointing … but a “like” that does not follow through is just a part of living. There are a number of areas which are important to understand if we are to role model effectively.

We have to understand that each of us is a product of so many factors – parental influences, childhood experiences, teen experiences, location, lifestyle, traumatic experiences, success and failures etc. etc.

Romantics will often stress our uniqueness; our individuality. They are quite correct. Because we are all exposed to so many (and varied) influences as we proceed through life, we are indeed absolutely unique individuals. This means that I need never be disappointed at how “you” behave. I could of course not like how you handle a specific situation, but I just need to remember that your life influences are different from mine. If I can always remember that, then I can accept what you do/don’t do. I may not like your actions in a specific situation, but I can accept that your life has taken you in that direction.

I am reminded of a lesson I learned many years ago when my two teenagers were being particularly challenging – “There is no reason why you cannot always love your children. You may not love what they do, but you can always love them for who they are.” – My issue with that was learning to separate the person from the action. I did not find that easy to do, but it makes so much sense when you think about it. Why should we stop loving anybody simply because of what they did, when all they did was behave in accordance with their life experiences?

We should perhaps each spend a little time to understand who we are … what/who were our biggest influences … who we admired, and why, as we grew up … what made us happy, and what brought us to tears … our emotional highs and lows …. our successes, and our failures.

If each of us was a cake recipe, it would indeed be a very complicated recipe, and each cake would be unique. Once we have grasped that perspective, it is so much easier to accept others simply for who they are.

“Treat as others as I would like them to treat me.”

Does this provide a goal for you to aspire to, or does it simply inspire more thought? Regardless of your answer, somebody once said “Role model how you would like the world to be.” There are more of us than there are politicians so, rather than wait for our leaders to move in this direction, we should simply take charge and demonstrate our desire for a better world. There are millions of us, so can you just imagine what such a common perspective could achieve?

Judith Durham ………..

gave me so much listening pleasure as the lead singer of the Australian group The Seekers but, sadly, she has passed on. “It’s Hard to Leave” was apparently written many years ago, and in the context of her leaving her family and friends in order to go on tour with the band. This was a new song to me which I recently came across by accident … but what an accident! Enjoy.

Before you vote……………..

Many of us have imminent elections, and the rest of us are likely to have them in the not too distant future, so here is an interesting read (author unknown):

Butch the Rooster

Sarah was in the fertilized egg business.  She had several hundred young pullets and ten roosters to fertilize the eggs.  She kept records and any rooster not performing went into the soup pot and was replaced.
 
This took a lot of time, so she bought some tiny bells and attached them to her roosters.  Each bell had a different tone, so she could tell from a distance which rooster was performing.  Now, she could sit on the porch and fill out an efficiency report by just listening to the bells.
 
Sarah’s favorite rooster, old Butch, was a very fine specimen but, this morning she noticed old Butch’s bell hadn’t rung at all!  When she went to investigate, she saw the other roosters were busy chasing pullets, bells-a-ringing, but the pullets hearing the roosters coming, would run for cover.
 
To Sarah’s amazement, old Butch had his bell in his beak, so it couldn’t ring.
 He’d sneak up on a pullet, do his job, and walk on to the next one.
 
Sarah was so proud of old Butch, she entered him in a Show and he became an overnight sensation among the judges.
 
The result was the judges not only awarded old Butch the “No Bell Peace Prize” they also awarded him the “Pulletsurprise” as well.
 
Clearly old Butch was a politician in the making.
 
Who else but a politician could figure out how to win two of the most coveted awards on our planet by being the best at sneaking up on the unsuspecting populace and screwing them when they weren’t paying attention?
 
Vote carefully in the next election. You can’t always hear the bells.

Books Pricing & Status

Please note that the books in the column to the right are now available only directly from FriesenPress Bookstore (link below) and in eBook format. All are priced at under $7.00

https://books.friesenpress.com/store/search?q=Colin+Chappell

The above link provides the opportunity to explore all three books – “Just Thinking”, “Who Said I was up for Adoption” and “The Odessa Chronicles”. Please feel free to comment here if you decide to download any of them.

I can recommend “Just Thinking” for anybody who likes straight forward/direct poetry. Most pieces are based around personal experiences some of which may well resonate against your own life experiences!

I can recommend “Who Said I was up for Adoption?” because not only is it a “doggie” story with a happy ending, but is also a recount of the first eighteen months of shelter dog Ray living with us. Ray was my first dog!

I can recommend “The Odessa Chronicles” because it is quite simply a collection of short, fun and fictional stories, many of which focus on Odessa (a Barn-Owl with an attitude). If she had her way she would have been the focus of every story, but we had other plans!

Regardless of your taste in reading ……….. enjoy!

Could not overlook this!

The following is apparently an extract from the 2019 inaugural address by the Ukrainian President Volodymyr Zelensky:

“We need people in power who will serve the people. That is why I do not want my picture in your offices, for the President is not an icon, an idol or a portrait. Hang your kids’ photos instead and look at them each time you are making a decision.”

Just imagine what the world would be like if everybody considered their kids before making any decision.

 

 

Winning the Lottery!

“Winning the Lottery!”

It never ceases to amaze me how many people, who are on controlled budgets, give buying lottery tickets every week a high priority. The rationale generally falls into two distinct groups.

There are those who feel that, regardless of prior results, they think that this week will be their turn for the big win! Then there are those who simply buy tickets because “If you don’t play, you can’t win eh”!

What they all seem to have in common is the desire to win a large sum of money, and how happy they believe it would make them. Of course the whole lottery “advertising machine” encourages such thinking when, without exception (in my experience), all advertising focuses on self indulgent spending.

I find the whole lottery scene interesting because so many people are thinking nothing of spending $20-$25 a week on tickets. However, most of them would admit to a degree of excitement if they were given $1000.00. For some reason, the rationale does not holdup when you suggest that they stop buying tickets for a year; saved the money, and then gave themselves $1000.00 at year end!

It would appear therefore that while a $1000.00 gift would be nice, it is the $multi-million prizes that are the attraction. Again, I have to question the logic because there are so many examples of people forced into bankruptcy after a big win, simply because they spend with no thought for their resulting obligations. Moving into a multi-million dollar home dictates very high taxes and utilities plus the general upkeep of such properties! A luxury yacht is not a low maintenance item! Buying everybody a Rolls Royce car may well not be appreciated at vehicle service time.

Then there are those who have won multi-millions, and have decided to take a vacation while they decide what to do with it. Very often, it is decided to treat family and friends to small (relative to the win) value items such as pay off mortgages or buy cars. I am no accountant, but it is apparently very likely that a $multi-million win could be gaining more interest over a year than is being spent! People can literally have “more money than they know what do with”. Given all the new friends that they will undoubtedly have, and all the charities that will be in constant touch with them, it is highly unlikely that this will be a carefree and happy period in their life!

It seems to me that the ideal person to win a $multi-million lottery, is someone with a good basic knowledge of accounting and investments; someone with business experience, and someone with a philanthropic perspective. As far as I can deduce, that person would have a chance of being happy as a result of a big win but then, would that person actually buy lottery tickets?

Life Circumstances

“Life Circumstances!”

Having Ray’s book* released to the world triggered many thoughts, not the least of which is how one’s life journey can change directions in ways that could never have been predicted, simply as a result of specific circumstances.

If I had not failed my pre-career medical, I would have never met the girl that I married.

If I had never married that girl, I would have never come to Canada because it was her aunt that sold us on the idea and eventually sponsored us.

Many years later, if I had never been put on a special project by my employer, I would have never met Carol.

If I had never met Carol, it would have been virtually guaranteed that I would have never contemplated letting a dog into my life.

If I had never let Ray into my life, I would have never written the book about him!

If somebody told me in 2008 that, in 5 years, I would be living with an almost 80 pounds dog who had been abandoned and carried significant emotional baggage as a result, I would have grinned and responded “Yeh……….. right!”

If that same person told me that I would do pretty much anything for that dog, I would start to wonder what they had been drinking.

If they then told me that I would write, and publish, a book* covering the trials and tribulations of his first 18 months with us, I would be convinced that they were totally delusional.

Circumstances! Aren’t they wonderful? They can just happen, and our life takes on a completely new direction.

Circumstances! Provide us with incentives to step out of our comfort zones.

Circumstances! Offer us challenges from which we can expand our horizons and generally grow.

Perhaps we should all reflect on the circumstances that brought us to our current “place” and celebrate because, regardless of the positives and negatives of the various life-changing circumstances, they did happen and they did make us who we are today. As for tomorrow? There will hopefully be more circumstances.

* “Who Said I was up for Adoption?” is available direct from the Friesen Press Bookstore

https://books.friesenpress.com/store/title/119734000018826578/Colin-Chappell-Who-Said-I-Was-Up-For-Adoption%3F