Separation anxiety – yet again!

Carol is still progressing and becoming a little more mobile every day. Her biggest challenge is not to try to do too much as that could have a negative impact on her recovery at best or, at worst, put her right back into hospital.

Ray is monitoring her every move and, with the exception of the bathroom, will follow her pretty much everywhere! While his dedication and watchfulness is wonderful, the ramifications are much less wonderful! He is so attached that, yet again, he has serious problems with being left on his own.

Separation anxiety training is back on our schedule however, the reality is that we are going to be starting with the basics once more. For anybody who has not had “the pleasure” of separation anxiety training, the first step is see if he stays calm while we touch the exterior door handle. If he handles that well, this is followed by opening the door a little. We then progress to opening the door wide, to going through the door, and so on through the various steps of leaving him!

Initial progress is inevitably very slow but, once he can be left on his own for about 5 mins, then we can increase at an accelerated rate because by then he knows what is going to happen, and understands that we will be back.

Unfortunately, getting him to stay calm until we reach that 5 minute time may be a very slow process…. but he is worth it, so we just have to persevere! 🙂

25 thoughts on “Separation anxiety – yet again!

  1. I feel for you having to begin again but as you say, Ray is worth it and you wouldn’t have it any other way. You and Carol love Ray with all your being but frustration is part of life. You’ll eventually get back to where you were before Carol’s illness. I hope it will go faster this time around.

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  2. You’re slipping up, Ray. Why are you letting Carol go into the bathroom alone? What if she climbs out the window? You should get in there and watch her. I am not happy when Mom leaves me alone, but she gives me a special treat when she leaves, and I know I will catch up on my sleep while she’s gone. If I fall asleep when she’s here, she wakes me up to ask me why I’m so cute. Ugh.

    Love and licks,

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    • Hi Cupcake – I don’t think that she can get out of that window! As for waking me up? Doesn’t happen! I have “startle response”. My Dad surprised me twice like that, but he didn’t do it a third time! BOL! After two surprises, he learned not to wake me up (he wrote about it in my book)! Woof! Ray.


  3. I’m surprised Ray doesn’t want to follow Carol to the bathroom – Choppy is just fine being left at home alone, but she really doesn’t like it when I use the bathroom with the door shut. She sits outside and awaits my return from the mysterious small room, where she apparently thinks I am going to be abducted by something crawling out of the toilet.

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  4. Yule wants Ray to know that he understands completely, and hopes that he can understand that mom and dad will come back. ” I hate being left too. Lately, though I’ve been pretty good and haven’t taken out any of the door jams, but I do sit right by the door waiting. I love waiting in the car when mom does errands, but noticed that the speeding process of being left at home was sped up when it got to be 90 degrees outside. I guess she figures I wouldn’t do well being left in a hot car. Good Luck Ray. Glad you have Carol back.”

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