A Ray Tip!

Hey my fellow canines. I’m giving my Dad a break!

Here’s a tip on how to get those really special, yummy, mouth watering, drool worthy pepperoni slices! First of all you must have humans who like pizza! Without that it is a waste of time dreaming about pepperoni ‘cos you’ll only stress yourself out and get into trouble because of your barking.

So, given that they do like pizza, then hopefully they will go and pick it up because, if they have it delivered, then it becomes really complicated and a whole new strategy must be used. When they go and pick up their pizza, you make so much noise that they take you with them. If your noise doesn’t work, go get your leash and whip it around so that it hits their legs. Do whatever it takes to get their attention

So now you are out walking to the pizza place (and you’ll know immediately when you get close because of the yummy smells), but you must remember that you are probably not going to be allowed in so, when you get there, you must pull yourself up to as big as you can get, and just stare at the people working there. If you stare long enough, one of them will notice you. If they don’t notice you… a single bark should do it! Just a single bark though because if you get carried away with barking (you know who you are)…. then you might get literally get carried away and no pepperoni for you!

Persistent eye contact will invariably start a conversation between your human and the pizza humans and could easily end up with them giving you pepperoni slices. If you are a “rescued dog”, then it is almost certain to work. If your humans forget to mention that you were rescued, then just sit and look as pathetic as you can. Give them the “They don’t feed me” look, or the “I am just starving” look. As a last resort, just look really neglected so that the pizza humans feel sorry for you, and if you can manage a slight limp…… bonus!

Enjoy your pepperoni and/or pizza! Woof! Ray.

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32 thoughts on “A Ray Tip!

  1. Sorry Ray- I cannot allow Kali and Kloe to read your blog if you continue to provide directions for conducting subversive and undermining activities. To make things worse you characterize your deviancy as a “tip”. I urge you to take your paws off the keyboard and step away from the computer or I will have to contact the local authorities. 👿

    Liked by 1 person

  2. Oh Ray, you have it down to a fine art. No doubt you can also do what I do, hanging my head to look at my feet, then raising big sad brown eyes longingly in the direction of the counter sending vibes of guilt in the process.
    Enjoy your pepperoni. My humans don’t buy pizza anymore. Something to do with a thing called Diet. Shucks. Love Maggie. xx

    Liked by 1 person

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