Just Ray!

This Category is simply for Posts about Ray which have little to do with his book “Who Said I was up for Adoption?” Of course you might be interested in getting his book when you understand what a sweetheart he has become … since his life as a stray, and all the health issues that came with him as a result of those earlier times.

Damn Dog?

A number of things come to mind when I think of Ray but one, that would likely not be understood by anybody who has not had a relationship with a dog, is that they can draw attention to our own shortcomings. Whether we choose to acknowledge such flaws is another matter, but at least we have the option to reflect and perhaps adjust our actions next time.

I have seen so many dog owners reprimand their dog for being nothing more than a dog! When I looked at the circumstances, it was so often the dog owner that was at fault, but sadly it was the dog that paid the price. This can easily happen if the dog is suddenly attracted to something, at the same time that the owner is distracted. We had occasions where we were distracted in conversation just as Ray picked up the scent of something disgusting but perhaps edible very close by! There are many potential circumstances where the dog is just being himself/herself, but creates a problem because the owners are not being as thoughtful and/or attentive as perhaps they should.

I wonder how many of you can, upon reflection, see a set of circumstances which resulted in your dog being reprimanded (and possibly punished), but where your own “due diligence” (lack of) was the root cause of the issue?

One such experience of mine is covered in the Post below (originally posted Nov. 8, 2014):

“Pumpkin Pie & Whipping Cream.”

Ray knows how to behave around food. When visiting the Lululemon store, he will automatically sit close to the biscuit bowl and wait for me to give him some pieces of biscuit.

While he will always get excited when he knows that his morning or evening meal is imminent, he will respond to “Wait” until he hears “Take it”. Of course he needs to be reminded, especially after his food bowl is put on the floor, but he is generally very good. I find this particularly impressive because of his background as a stray, where food would most certainly be a “take it now” commodity, because who knows when the next snack would be found? The effort required for Ray to exercise this degree of self-control is very evident as he sways slightly and dips his head towards his food bowl while he is waiting for those two magic words “Take it!”. Once he hears them, all his “coiled springs” release and he dives in to devour another meal.

Even if we are eating while sitting on our sofa, Ray will initially hover around but will soon wander over to one of his beds, curl up and watch us carefully. If we feel so inclined to share a tidbit with him, we will walk over to him and offer it. The idea is to stop him from being a nuisance at meal times, and for him to realize that good things can come his way if he is on his bed. Ray is not perfect, but then neither am I, so I give him some latitude; some flexibility, to just be himself.

Homemade pumpkin pie topped with whipping cream is a particular love of mine and on this day it was dessert! I went into the kitchen and cut myself a good sized piece; topped it off with a generous portion of whipping cream, and also cut Carol a similar sized piece but with no cream (her choice) and brought both plates into our living room. Ray got off his bed and followed me over to the sofa whereupon he just sat and watched me give Carol her plate, and watched me sit down and get myself organized so I could enjoy this wonderful dessert. It probably does not need to be mentioned but, just to clarify the circumstances, we already knew that Ray loved pumpkin pie and would almost kill for whipping cream!

As I was getting comfortable so that I could give my dessert the undivided attention it so deserved, I decided to loosen the laces in my shoes. After that, the setting would have been as perfect as it could possibly get. Unfortunately, that setting was never to be. As I bent over to reach my shoes, holding my pumpkin pie topped with whipping cream away from Ray, I saw him leap towards it. I quickly moved my arm out of his reach however, the motion of the plate triggered movement from the pie which gracefully took off and landed rather ungracefully on the mat near our front door. My intuitive reaction was to follow its flight and I clearly remember the pie landing relatively unscathed and the whipping cream being splattered over the pie’s landing spot. I also remember seeing a large brown furry head seemingly vacuum up the pie which disappeared so fast that by the time I got to the “Leave it” command, there was nothing but traces of whipping cream on the mat!

My immediate reaction was annoyance (and I clearly showed it) because Ray knows better than that however, after more thought, I had to conclude that it was me who was at fault. It is so easy to blame “the dog” when anything goes wrong and once I have allocated blame, I no longer have to deal with it and certainly don’t need to accept any responsibility for it. It has been my experience with Ray that many of his misdemeanours are in fact my fault and that not only should I not be annoyed with him, but I should accept full responsibility and make changes to avoid a repeat performance.

In this particular situation, I knew that Ray loved my imminent dessert, and I also knew that he would go to his bed and lay down if told to do so. Why therefore would I allow him close to the sofa when I am clearly going to eat something that he particularly likes? Why did I not stand up and put my plate somewhere out of his reach before adjusting my shoe laces? Why did I not tell him to go to his bed? The answers are simply that I did not think, which then poses the question – why does an incident become Ray’s fault simply because I was not thinking? While he still should not have hijacked my dessert, it becomes quite an understandable reaction given the circumstances and, more importantly, one which could have been avoided given more thought on my part. 

Sorry Ray. I should not have been upset with you. I really, really, really, hope that you enjoyed my homemade pumpkin pie topped with whipping cream!

The Price of Freedom.

Ray left us on January 18 and here we are, 7 weeks later, adjusting to our life without him. A suncatcher directs the colours of the rainbow onto my bed cover on a regular basis to remind me of my dear friend… as if I could ever forget him!

Carol and I go out for daily walks and, inevitably, we follow routes that we used to use for Ray’s walks. We can now walk closer to the Canada Geese, as well as a variety of other birds, because we don’t have Ray to make them nervous. We can also now both go into a coffee shop and order a couple of lattes. It was not that long ago that one of us would have to stay outside with our furry friend!

Our “dates” for the past 10 years were dependant on the one other person Ray was comfortable with being available to dog-sit for us. The alternative was that Ray had to come with us, which ruled out all the local restaurants. We do however have one local pub which allowed Ray on their outdoor patio. Now we can go wherever, and whenever, we feel like it. Sadly COVID and various variants have made us less than enthusiastic about being in an indoor environment where nobody is wearing a mask!

When one of us is out shopping or at an appointment, the other can freely go wherever they want without having to consider Ray in the decision making process. In fact we have all the freedom we could possibly ask for, but our beloved Ray is always in the background. He is always in our thoughts, in the context of “If Ray was with us… “.

Our Spring season is just starting to impact our garden, and our grass is just taking on a healthy green colour. Our immediate thought was that it would not be looking that good if Ray had been pounding around on it chasing a squirrel! His paws were very good at throwing clumps of soil and grass into the air as he tried get his almost 80lbs weight to follow a sharp turn that a squirrel, or rabbit, had just made.

Our lives are not the same without Ray, but we do have to acknowledge the choices we now have. We have a lot of freedom to celebrate but, as in life, there are always costs. In fact, in our context, I would suggest that our freedom came at a very high cost.

It’s in the eyes!

Eyes are a remarkable communicating tool aren’t they. When talking to somebody, and their eyes keep drifting off to one side, is there a distraction? Perhaps there is a time restraint? Perhaps your topic of conversation is of no interest? If they talk to you and do not hold eye contact, do you really believe what is being said? If they hold an unflinching eye contact with you throughout the conversation, how do you feel?

When working with Ray, one of our challenges was to get him to make eye contact with us. As a trainer succinctly noted, if he is not looking at you, he is going to miss the gestures and overall body language cues that you are giving him, and are expecting him to respond to.  So we worked on that and Ray responded exceptionally well. If you have never experienced a pair of large canine eyes locked on to you, then you have missed out on an interesting experience. If the eyes truly are windows to the soul, then I suspect Ray knew so much more about us than we could imagine!

Look closely at his eyes below.

Did you turn away and then go back to look at them again? Perhaps a third time? It’s in the eyes!

What does your body language tell others?

Body language rarely lies. In fact when the body language is in conflict with the way a situation is being presented, I would trust the body language every time.

As a species, we have developed a quite sophisticated vocal communication system in that we can “keep it simple” or we can embellish. We can get “straight to the point” or we can detour. Which route we take is often dictated by what we are trying to achieve, and how difficult we think that might be to get there.  Simply put, we have developed an impressive system of communication which invites “misuse and abuse”, and one of our problems will always be to listen to what is being said, and then figuring out the thinking behind those words.

I had a dear friend who lived a less complicated life, in that his vocal expressions were minimal, but his body language said so much. He could vocalize what was necessary, but everything thing else was body language. I knew when he was happy, and I knew when he wanted to be left alone. He made it very clear when he wanted something, and was equally clear when being presented with something he did not want. Disturbing him during his sleep was an ill advised action to take. Most of our interactions were via body language, and I often wondered how much insight he had of me simply by my body language? I suspect quite a lot!

Here he is asleep on his place of choice.

I can get so much out of this picture of him. He took possession of our chair as his place of choice to sleep. He liked his head elevated a little (so do I). He felt very secure based on the tangle of legs (it would be complicated to get up fast).  He would have known that a camera was pointing at him, but had no reason to care! Here is a picture of a very relaxed, very contented and very tired Ray.

So the next time you plan on saying something that may not be a true reflection of your feelings, remember Ray and his body language in the above photo … because your body language is likely to “say” so much more!

The Day After.

I hear little footsteps coming into my bedroom, but I know he will never enter again.
 I get a nudge on my elbow as I sit at the computer, but I know he is not here.
I hear his footsteps overhead as I sit in the basement, but I know it cannot be Ray.
I found a roll of poop bags in my jacket pocket, and later we will probably go for a walk. It will be quite different now.
I look at his food bowls, knowing that we have no reason to put food in them.
The following was  written quite a few years ago now, and is more poignant now than it ever was.

A Man, a Dog, and the Sky

Laying on the grass

On a summer afternoon,

And watching clouds caress the blue sky.

Listening to birds, as they sing their songs,

But I’m thinking of… just you and I.

***

Leaves gently dancing

To the tune of the wind,

With their branches swaying in time.

Insects are buzzing their own harmonies,

While I’m thinking of… just you and I.

  ***

And even at night,

When stars fill the sky,

It’s so easy to lose track of time.

There’s much to see but… so easy to dream

About… just you and I.

***

And on rainy days;

We both look outside,

And wish that the weather was fine.

But soon it will stop and then… we’ll both go

To play in the garden… you and I.

***

You wanted to be friends.

I was rather surprised.

A nose touch… yours to mine

Was all it took to melt my heart.

A nose touch… and a moment of time.

***

Perhaps our souls indeed did touch.

The inner me perhaps was found.

Perhaps it was just your big brown eyes

Saying so much… yet with no sound.

But that’s history… to you and I.

***

So where do we go

From here my dear friend?

Where do we go and why?

To journey together; to laugh and to cry,

And to enjoy every moment of our time.

***

A man and his best friend.

What more could there possibly be?

I ask myself with a sigh.

Such unconditional love… just for me.

I shall never question why.

***

Here we both are anyway,

And on the same road.

Who knows of the reason or rhyme?

But we can love and play; celebrate each day

And enjoy what remains of our time.

***

Who would ever have thought?

Both of us… just laying here,

On the grass. Just you and I.

Just you and I… together… and alone.

A man… a dog… and the sky!

One more benefit of self-publishing!

A short time ago, I published (here) a Post about various aspects of self-publishing (link below).

Publishing your Book!

My general message was that anybody who has a dream of publishing their writings should do so, even though there is a strong possibility that the financial costs involved may never be recouped.

As some of you already know, there can be great pleasure in simply holding a copy of your first book. Imagine then the sense of satisfaction when a copy is sold and, further, the big smile on your face when you read a review and realize that your book has impacted another person sufficient for them to express their views publicly.

Another cause for self-satisfaction would be when the owner of another Blog decides to review your book! Not only are you getting the benefit of another perspective on your endeavours, but your work is then exposed to their readers with the resulting sales potential.

“Who Said I was up for Adoption?” has just been reviewed by Tiana Kelly who authors Sit, Stay, Blog – link below:

https://sit-stay-blog.net/2021/09/17/who-said-i-was-up-for-adoption/

Thanks Tiana and, being a dog person yourself, I was so pleased that you saw aspects in the book which could help new dog owners develop a relationship with their dog.

Some memory!

“Some memory” could be a facetious statement about my memory, which is showing distinct challenges as a result of aging, but my memory was not on my mind when I started this Post … but rather Ray’s memory!

When Ray moved into our home in 2013, we needed a way for him to tell us when he wanted to go outside (for body function reasons!).  He had no issue with using the garden as necessary,  but we were not always out there on his timing. Our solution was to hang a small bell on the handle of the back door, and showed him that when the bell rings … the door is opened. He caught on to that very fast and everything was fine until ……………………………..!

Ray decided that he wanted to go outside at around 1:00am one night and so he rang the bell. The door was opened for him and, with flashlight in hand (must look out for skunks, raccoons and foxes), he was lead out into the garden. If all was clear, then he was unclipped from his leash and allowed to do whatever he needed to do. After a number of “early hours” bell ringing, we realized that he simply wanted to be outside. He then started to resist coming back inside and, as we both needed our sleep, we had a decision to make.

Ray was estimated at 2 years old when he adopted us from our local shelter, so he was old enough to establish a routine for his body. He would relieve himself completely on his daily walks, so we thought that he should be encouraged to do the same before we go to bed.

A few days later, he rang the bell in the early hours, and he was ignored! His solution was to keep hitting the bell with his nose until somebody got up and took him outside ….. where he did nothing but lay down on the grass. The bell was subsequently removed from the door handle.

Ray, once again, adapted very well to his new circumstances. Now fast forward to August 2021, and Ray is now around 11 years old.

Carol was out shopping and I was sitting in our general kitchen area (the back of our home), so Ray would normally be curled up on one of his beds, or on “his” chair, or stretched out on the floor in front of the refrigerator! We now have a small flashlight hanging on the door handle.

I suddenly sensed some movement, and looked up just in time to see Ray side-swipe the small flashlight which went flying across the room. He then stood facing the back door, but with his head turned and looking at me. I can only conclude that he remembered  the bell routine from long ago!

Ray had a developed a single “Woof!” routine for when he wanted attention, so I can only assume that I did not hear him that time. Perhaps I was dozing?  🙂

Way to go Ray! You have always been one very special dog.

A force to be reckoned with?

Yes … according to the page heading on the book which somebody left behind!

Just look at that face!

 

We just recognized Ray’s 8th year with us (that’s 8 years of us not having a life unless he is included), which translates into him being about 10-1/2 years old now. Doesn’t time just fly when you’re having fun.  🙂

Ray Update.

We are still working on Ray’s issues but, as is usually the case in life (at least based on my experiences), there is rarely a “black and white” answer to anything.

Ray’s unrest during the night could be the onset of “doggy dementia” where he is imagining things that really aren’t there. Perhaps he whimpers at night because he does not like being left on his own. Perhaps he is simply hungry, or perhaps his food is giving him a problem.  Perhaps he has a medical condition?  Perhaps he has more than one of  the above.

The easiest one for us to address was his food so, after consulting with his vet and a dog trainer friend, we have switched his food to one apparently more suitable for a senior dog. Also, instead of giving him two meals a day, we now give him four (reduced quantity of course!). If digestion was the problem, then we should have resolved it. If hunger was the problem, then his fourth meal of the day should now resolve that.

The result? An improvement in a number of areas. He has not been sick for a while now. He is more alert on his walks, and has his silly moments which we hadn’t seen for a while, so we are concluding that things have improved for him. However, we are not “there” yet as he is still active (seemingly at a reduced level) throughout the night.

This seems to be associated with nocturnal “house sounds”, but he has lived here for almost 9 years so perhaps that is the “doggy dementia” possibility. It could also be that he does not like us two going to  sleep and leaving him alone because he is very attached to us. It could also be that he is taking his guarding tendencies too seriously as he gets older. We are currently trying him out with some music throughout the night. So far we have tried music by Libera, Enya, Leonard Cohen, Stan Rogers and an Environmental recording. We’re still working on it!

Stay tuned!

Oh dear … Ray!

Ray was estimated at 2 years old when picked up by the Humane Society in Nov 2012 … so that makes him around 10 now.

 

Above pic taken a few weeks ago.

He has started wandering around the house at night Continue reading →